


say my name

by thisstableground



Series: less than ninety degrees [31]
Category: Do No Harm (TV)
Genre: Multi, Nicknames
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:43:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28833618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisstableground/pseuds/thisstableground
Summary: Treading new ground in terms of endearment.[repost]
Relationships: Ruben Marcado/Usnavi (In the Heights)/Vanessa (In the Heights)
Series: less than ninety degrees [31]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/713601
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	say my name

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: this ones a really old one but i forgot to repost it when i was reorganizing my fics last year! whoops. enjoy!

Usnavi is of the opinion that names are very important. His name’s the first thing he got from his parents and even if he eventually loses everything else they left him he’ll always have that. Their Usnavi, their little one, pequeño. Abuela’s mijito, endearment stronger than blood. All ways to recognise that a name given is more than just a string of letters.

Nicknames come to him as easy as breathing so it’s no surprise that a very short way into his not-quite-a-relationship with Vanessa, he goes to meet her at the park and instead of “good morning, Vanessa”it’s “good morning, querida.” He doesn’t even think about it until Vanessa raises both her eyebrows and says “querida? Oof, didn’t know we were at that level.”

Usnavi’s heart sinks. “¿No lo somos? Which level is nicknames? Did—was it too much? I’m sorry! I didn’t know there _was_ a level! I call everyone nicknames! I call- _called_ Abuela and Mamá querida too sometimes, it ain’t like it’s just a romantic thing, it’s just…you know, hi, you’re someone I…enjoy spendin’ time with, this is a nightmare, I’m just gonna leave and come back and we’ll pretend that never happened, ¿bueno? Bueno.” He makes to skedaddle from his own runaway tongue getting him in trouble and she grabs him by the shoulder.

“Alright, chill out, I just wasn’t expectin’ it,” she says. “S’just a name. You could fuckin’ call me Keith for all I care.”

He doesn’t do that, but Vanessa, Usnavi learns, really means it when she says she doesn’t give a shit about her name, first middle or last. She doesn’t like Nessa, says it makes her sound like the Loch Ness monster, but other than that she’s indifferent. He calls her Vanessa and V and querida. She doesn’t call him anything but Usnavi or, if she’s teasing, De la Vega, and he’s pretty sure he knows why. Not that they’ve talked all that much about her mom but they grew up together, ain’t like Usnavi needs it spelled out that endearments probably ain’t something she’s been used to from birth like he is.

Well. She does use _one_. And to be honest, it’s one Usnavi hates, not for the word itself but because of how she says it, why she says it.

“Aw, sweetie”. Usnavi trips over his own feet, fumbles his words, tries to make a romantic gesture, _aw, sweetie._ The word’s an endearment, the tone is anything but. He knows it’s just a joke, and just that she defaults to sarcasm when she doesn't know what else to do, but she might as well pat him on the head and shove a lollipop in his mouth to shut him up.

He puts up with it, silently. Like, hello, he’s dating the girl of his dreams, no way in hell is he gonna call her out and ruin everything when it’s a miracle she’s with him to begin with. They ain’t even official, it’s no time to be rocking the boat from just this one tiny thing. Just that one tiny thing that’s kind of like one tiny little kick in the balls every time she does it. Tiny bit painful and tiny bit nauseating because he’s just a motormouth idiot hitting way above his station and every _aw sweetie_ says to him _you moron, why are you even trying_. It works its way right into all Usnavi’s insecurities and pulls strings until one too many aw-sweeties later he finally snaps “I don’t _like_ it when you treat me like I’m stupid, Vanessa!” and instantly thinks _well now I’ve really fucked it up, ain’t I?_

“What?” she says, looking absolutely baffled. “I wasn’t!”

She was, though, he can’t back down on it. Usnavi might not be the brightest bulb on the block but he’s got some self-respect, at least, to know he doesn’t wanna be condescended to. He tells her as much. She turns right back on him and informs him that it’s just as shitty to be treated like a glass statue up on a pedestal, and he cringes because shit, he kind of does do that, doesn’t he?

Through the subsequent argument - their first ever argument - he’s absolutely convinced she’s gonna leave him. He can see the same panic in Vanessa’s eyes: they both _want_ this to work, so badly. Badly enough that fighting turns into talking for a long time, and somehow talking turns into a turning point. From tiptoeing across thin ice to something solid, they iron things out and make some compromises and he thought he was falling before but now he’s slipping head over fucking heels like Bambi. She doesn’t call him sweetie in that voice any more and he doesn’t treat her like she’s more trophy than human, or at least they both try their best. He starts calling her out when he needs to and she starts calling him her boyfriend and he calls her nicknames in a torrentand in response starts gettinga faint hint of a confused, happy smile like she’s finally realising he means all of them. He means all of them so much: she isn’t perfect, she’s _Vanessa,_ better than perfect could ever be.

“Hola, mi preciosa,” he says when she comes in the bodega, because she truly is preciosa, linda, hermosa. She says, “hey, honey,” with a fond little crinkle of her eyes and Usnavi instantly turns into honey himself, sweet and melted so like fuckin' spread him on some toast and leave him on a plate because he could listen to her say that from now till sun-up and still want to hear it again.

He wraps her in a bear hug and says, “you called me honey!”

“So?!” she says, fierce, then apologetically adds “I didn’t mean it in a condescendin’ way.”

“No, I know you didn’t,” he says, still holding her. “I just like the way it sounds like…like you really like me.”

“I _do_ like you, dumbass,“ she says, squeezing him tightly.

Somehow, dumbass doesn’t bother him the way _sweetie_ did. There’s only a very subtle difference, but it’s a very _important_ subtle difference. They’re learning each others languages and Usnavi builds a whole dictionary of Vanessa. Dumbass: you can be a real mess sometimes but it’s why I like you. Honey: it’s gonna be okay, I got your back. Baby: take your pants off and get on the bed.

Babe, ubiquitous and almost unnoticeable: babe, I’m not one of those girls who calls anyone and everyone babe, but you’re an exception. Babe, its not the time to get too deep into feelings so this just a quick reminder. Babe, casually making sure everyone in this room knows you’re _mine_.

Babe, that giveaway when Ruben works his way into their lives that Usnavi isn’t the only one with a crush. it feels as good hearing her say it to Ruben as it does when she says it to Usnavi.

**

Ruben hold his own name as possessively as Usnavi keeps his, or even more so. Usnavi’s name is like the bodega, his first but everyone else’s too. Ruben’s name is Ruben’s and it ain’t to be played with, it’s been used against him too much before so he doesn’t put it into anyone else’s hands. He doesn’t play with other people’s names either and that’s okay: Ruben gives them a soft sunshine look and says “Usnavi,” just that, just “Vanessa”. Ruben knows how important a name is and he treats theirs with the same care he treats his own and a whole lot more affection.

Usnavi defaults to Spanish for Ruben, things that _they_ wouldn’t have ever used against him to attach a bad memory to. Hermoso, lindo, guapo. They’re usually received with a sarcastic snort and a _you should probably get your eyes checked,_ but it isn't the reaction that _Rubes_ gets and Ruben doesn’t say he wants it to stop so Usnavi persists. If Vanessa can learn to believe all the nice things he says about her then Ruben damn sure can too. Whether that lesson ever holds Ruben at least stops disagreeing, so the nicknames just become part of the fabric of the relationship.

“Hey there, hermoso,” Usnavi says, like he says every morning, and sits down opposite Ruben for breakfast.

Ruben puts down his toast and tugs gently on his beard with a deep frown on his face until Usnavi throws a Froot Loop at his head to make him stop. “Hey!”

Usnavi throws a second one. “Froot Loop for your thoughts?”

“Should I be calling you nicknames?”

“Guess that depends what kinda nickname you’re thinkin’ of,” Usnavi says. “Sonny used to call me Ewwww-snavi, hated that.”

“No, like endearments,” Ruben explains. “Boyfriendy ones.”

“Do you want to call us boyfriendy endearments?”

“I don’t know if I can pull it off.”

Vanessa shuffles in and Usnavi nudges Ruben encouragingly under the table with his toes. “Only one way to find out.”

“What?” Usnavi motions to Vanessa and Ruben goes, “oh! Right, of course,” then winces even before he says “hey… _baaabe_? Nope.”

Vanessa wrinkles her nose.

Ruben looks dejected. “It sounded weird, right?”

“Yup,” Vanessa agrees, ruffling Rubens hair as she passes. “Appreciate the attempt, though.”

“I don’t _hate_ it,” Usnavi says diplomatically. “It’s just not very…you.”

“Hmmmm,” Ruben says.

***

Babe makes it’s way out once or twice in the bedroom, and even if it’s not very Ruben it definitely works for him there, although in fairness when things get to that point Usnavi’s usually gone enough he’d probably be into it if one of them called him Donkey Kong, bone-logic’s no reasonable metric for anything. Other than that, Ruben doesn’t follow up on his nickname quest for quite a while.

After their Christmas from hell, though, slowly, tentatively he starts slipping in a few. Cariño, querido, querida. Low-stakes ones, always a hint of a question like he isn’t sure if he’s allowed to be saying it. Always like it’s not quite right on his tongue. Sometimes he laments his inability to make it sound sincere to them, and Vanessa advises him not to force it. Usnavi thinks he’s just gotta find the right one.

Meantime, nobody’s doubting Ruben loves them. It shows in other ways, like for instance him putting up with Usnavi in a car for fifty hours when they head Californiawards to visit Vanessa, or sleeping with them on this shitty airbed that definitely wasn’t made to withstand three people even though it makes his back hurt, and not cussing Usnavi out when he tries to escape from said airbed for a midnight bathroom trip and ends up elbowing Ruben ungracefully awake in the process.

“Sorry, querido!” Usnavi whispers, giving up on elegance and army-crawling over Ruben instead until he’s on solid enough ground to stand. The sudden shift in weight distribution brings Vanessa rolling sharply into Ruben and she raises her head with her eyes still closed to make an unhappy sound into the air. Ruben smiles up at Usnavi, barely awake, one eye just squinting slightly open, then curls an arm round Vanessa who looks both pissed off and bemused and only about three percent conscious.

“It’s just Usnavi,” Ruben murmurs to her. “Go back to sleep, love.”

Vanessa doesn’t seem to notice it, slinging a leg over Ruben’s and burrowing against him back into hibernation, but even second-hand Usnavi’s hit with such a wave of affection that he knows this one is right. _Love_. A half-asleep sincerity, a simplicity that’s perfectly Ruben, and Usnavi knows that it's going to stick.


End file.
